When my dog, Meesha, died suddenly in September of 2013, I was still in no way ready to celebrate the holidays. I trudged through events and smiled but my heart was broken. Christmas music (I'll be honest, not my favorite to start with) was quickly cut off at the first "Tra."
Something happens when you love an animal or a person deeply. They become a part of your "core" - your heart. I can attest from experience. Meesha is with me and I have no doubt that I will see her again in Heaven. However, especially as humans, we have a great desire to have our loved ones physically right here, right now.
If you are in pain following the loss of a beloved animal (even if a long time has past), avoid telling yourself that you need to "just move on". Many people are "triggered" during the holidays to re-experience the pain of such an enormous loss because the message all around is that we should feel "joyful" which only serves to magnify the pain felt by the absence of our loved one. I have provided some helpful tips for dealing with animal loss below:
-Reaching out to trusted friends and family. Let them know what you are going through. Do not judge yourself for being sad, and tell them that you are having a difficult time. Be consciously aware and choose wisely who you share your feelings with. Some are just not able to relate to the loss of a pet, especially if they have never experienced this. Also, some people who have experienced loss have shut down and the emotion of others triggers something in them that they would like to avoid dealing with. Avoid putting yourself in a position where you may be further hurt at such a vulnerable time.
-Slow down. Although you may feel pushed to spend less time relaxing during the holidays, it is important to take the time to be still and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Seek the comfort of the God/the Divine for answers to your questions about pain and loss. You may want to find a spiritual advisor/clergy person who can help you in this process. It's ok not to feel up to all of the events and to feel out what is going to restore you verses obligations that may serve only to deplete you of energy. Attending some holiday events for a shorter period of time may serve to uplift but not overwhelm you.
-But.....avoid isolating. Spending some time alone can be restorative, but the energy of others can help bring some hope and perspective. Also, if you ask for the right people to come into your path, getting out in the world may bring some surprising help from unexpected people and experiences.
-Seek professional counseling. There are plenty of counselors who specialize in pet loss. Finding a counselor who can relate to your pain is essential so be picky about who you choose.
-Pay special attention to what your body needs. Especially during the winter months with shorter periods of sunlight, try to take a walk outside during the day for at least 20-30 minutes to an hour. Studies show this can significantly improve mood. Eating non-processed foods and limiting caffine. Using essential oils and gentle herbal remedies for physical and emotional support.
-Volunteer. It may seem counterintuitive, especially if you're feeling like sequestering yourself at home under a warm blanket and hiding from all of the activity this season. However, opening our hearts to help others is one of the best ways to help us feel better when we are suffering. I joined a pet therapy team and a group at my church after Meesha passed that have led to immense blessings and helped me to move through that very difficult season.
-Show yourself compassion. I still miss giving Meesha her present on Christmas morning. You may be ten years into loss and still experience pain and sadness. That means you loved deeply and were blessed to have them in your life for how ever long they were there.
How can I help? I provide Animal Communication
sessions and classes both in-person and at a
distance. I am also a Licensed Clinical Social
Worker (L.C.S.W.) providing Intuitive Personal
Coaching. MORE
sessions and classes both in-person and at a
distance. I am also a Licensed Clinical Social
Worker (L.C.S.W.) providing Intuitive Personal
Coaching. MORE
Note: the information provided here or on any affiliated media pages does not take the place of professional intervention. Anne Angelo or Intuitive Touch Animal Care, LLC are not serving as a professional counselors, as this information is for informational and entertainment purposes only. If you are feeling that you are in any danger of self or other harm, please contact the appropriate professionals.